'Twas the day after Christmas

'Twas the day after Christmas, and all through the house
Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.
The cookies I'd nibbled, the eggnog I'd taste
At during the holiday have gone to my waist.
When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
Discouraged I pouted, “Oh what a bummer!”
As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt
And prepared once again to do battle with dirt---
I said to myself, as I only can
"You can't spend the winter disguised as a man!"
So, away with the last of the sour cream dip,
Get rid of the cake, every cracker and chip
Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
‘Till all these additional pounds have vanished.
I won't have a cookie—not even a lick.
I will only to chew on a long celery stick.
I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie,
I'll munch on my carrot and quietly cry.
Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.
Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!