Monday, October 13, 2008

Starbucks Challenged

By Steve Hanchett

A couple of times a week I meet with some friends in the morning for coffee. It gives us a chance to catch up and solve all the world's problems. Earlier this week we decided to break our normal routine and go to Starbucks for our session.

To me coffee is coffee. I have never tried Frapacinno or Cappacino and I don't think I even have them spelled correctly. Just give me some regular ole coffee and I'm content. Don't need anything with stuff on top, or anything that has to be mixed in a blender, and for sure don't put ice in it.

When I got in line at Starbucks a young man was in front of me and he ordered something like a "Starbucks moccha latte iced with a double shot with cream whipped shaken not stirred." He said it so fast I didn't quite make out exactly what he wanted but the smiling woman taking his order didn't miss a beat. She put the concoction together in no time.

My turn - "Good morning!!!! Welcome to Starbucks!!!! How can I help you???"

"I want coffee," I replied.

She paused and with a confused look on her face asked me if I wanted a "tall."

Now don't get me wrong, I'm sure there is a good reason they don't call them small, medium and large, but that is my gauge for drinks.
Asking me about tall and short and whatever comes in between is like talking to me about liters and kilometers. I'm just guessing at some sort of conversion into measurements I understand. It was too early. "I want a small coffee."

"What kind of coffee do you want?" She said, the smile now absent.

"Just regular coffee," I said.

"We have a "Wild West Jamaican Dark Roasted Morning Wakeup Call or the Costa Rican Spring Break Restful Medium Blend," she said.

"Just give me the medium thing. A small one."

"OK, I need a short Costa Rican Spring Break Restful Medium," she said to no one in particular but a blond college age girl sprang into action. "That will be $6,359 and 23 cents. Do you want that on your credit card?"

They need to have special classes for ordering at Starbucks. How do all these people know what this stuff is? All I know is that you drink coffee and some people put sugar and/or cream in it. I'm Starbucks challenged. I think I'm past learning how to order at Starbucks. So it’s back to the old hang out where you just ask for coffee. They don't give you options about the size of the thing. You just get a cup and the waitress comes around occasionally and asks if you want it warmed up. They put a chrome mini-pitcher on the table with cream in it and a glass sugar jar with the flappy lid from which it comes out. It’s pretty simple and it only costs about a buck.

Incidentally, I notice that Starbucks ends with a buck in the plural form - "BUCKS." Aptly named I say.

~I thought these sentiments were pretty funny, and quite accurate, however, I personally, enjoy going to Starbucks for a cup of my favorite drink: sugar-free, nonfat vanilla Chai with extra vanilla. True that it takes quite a few "bucks" but if I only do it on occasion it won't hurt my pocketbook or my expanding waistline. Anyways, does anyone want to go have coffee??


Joy said...

Well, you know I would absolutely love to sit and have a chai with you! :) Yummy!

Mrs. Renfro said...

Mmmm, that does sound relaxing...but do we have time to fit that into your busy schedule? I think that I will just have to buy a couple of vanilla chai's on the way to work on Wednesday. It's always a bonus to sit at work with a cup of Starbucks :D
As for sittin and enjoying a cup without interruptions, well, we will figure something out.

Anonymous said...

well, you know me Im a starbucks gal all the way!! I figured they would have thrown us out after only ordering one drink each and sitting there for close to 4 hours... so ofcourse I would love to go again,,, just not so long this time.... and uh, maybe a walk afterwards......? D

Mrs. Renfro said...

I know, I can't believe we sat there for so long, but then again, we hadn't talked in like 4 years and there was a lot to catch up on. A long walk next time sounds great!
I am glad you and your family are doing well, and that your mom is still growing in the Lord. I was so excited when she got saved, as we had prayed for her for so many years. God has been so good. Thanks for stopping by was just like the good ole days.

Anonymous said...

I was kinds surprised to walk in to a Starbucks in Xi'an and find it quite a lot like home. People in long lines with complicated jargon (imagine it in Chinese), and paying for expensive cups of coffee. For me, I like a decaf frapaccino with sugar free vanilla - no whip, if I can get it in decaf... Anyways, we should go for some coffee (complicated or otherwise) when I come home in July!!

Jen (Miss Jenni) :D

Mrs. Renfro said...

It's so good to hear from you! I look forward to visiting with you over a cup of Starbucks when you come home this summer. You know, I will have to bring Hopie with me..she misses you so much!