If Only I Knew..

In the last couple of years I have lost three of my "treasured" friends. It has been very rough, since I had never lost anyone real close before this. All three were young, and you would think that they had their whole lives in front of them. My first reaction was to question God, "WHY?" It's very hard to accept death, and when it happens suddenly, with no warning, it takes the wind out of your sails. It seemed like just when the Lord would help me through one loss, I'd get another call about another. I admit, that I got angry with God, which led to some pretty major depression. For a long time it was hard to eat, hard to sleep, and in reality most of the time it was just hard for me to breathe. Life just became something I had to endure. I had lost my joy. There was no more song in my heart. God has been so good to me, in spite of "me". He continued to love me, and hold me in His arms. "If we believe not, yet he abideth faithful: he cannot deny himself." 2Timothy 2:13

Through it all, I learned that I really need to trust God, even when I don't understand. A bitter heart is not a happy heart. I still have days when my heart gets that sulking, overwhelmed feeling, but instead of dwelling on life's hardships I try to focus on all the blessings that I still have here. I have also learned that you can't take people for granted. This may be someone's last day, and I need enjoy every moment that I have with my family and friends. I don't want to have any more regrets of what I should have said or should have done. "Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away. For that ye ought to say, If the Lord will, we shall live, and do this, or that." 1Peter 4:14&15

IF I KNEW

If I knew it would be the last time
That I'd see you fall asleep,

I would tuck you in more tightly

and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.

If I knew it would be the last time

that I'd see you walk out the door,

I would give you a hug and kiss

and call you back for one more

If I knew it would be the last time

I'd hear your voice filled with laughter,

I would video tape each action and word,

so I could play them back day after day.

If I knew it would be the last time,

I would spare an extra minute to stop and say

'I love you,'instead of assuming you would KNOW I do.

If I knew it would be the last time

I would be there to share your day,

Well I'm sure you'll have so many more,

so I can let just this one slip away.

For surely there's always tomorrow

to make up for an oversight,

and we always get a second chance

to make everything just right.

There will always be another day

to say 'I love you,'

And certainly there's another chance

to say our 'Anything I can do?

'But just in case I may be wrong,

and today is all I get,

I'd like to say how much I love you

and I hope we never forget.

Tomorrow is not promised to anyone,

young or old alike,

And today may be the last chance

you get to hold your loved one tight.

So if you're waiting for tomorrow,why not do it today?

For if tomorrow never comes,

you'll surely regret the day,

That you didn't take that extra time

for a smile, a hug, or a kiss

and you were too busy to grant someone,

what turned out to be their one last wish.

So hold your loved ones close today,

and whisper in their ear,

Tell them how much you love them

and that you'll always hold them dear

Take time to say 'I'm sorry,

''Please forgive me,' 'Thank you,' or 'It's okay.'

And if tomorrow never comes,

you'll have no regrets about today.